Big fish in a small pond or small fish in a big pond?

The sunshine, palm trees and ocean breeze welcomed me when I landed in Charleston, South Carolina. Mid-70s and the smell of seafood wafted through the air. In just one day, I would indulge in some authentic seafood. Until then, it was time to decide which type of fish to be.

Have you hear the analogy of being "a big fish in a small pond?"

This concept demonstrates that the fish has outgrown its habitat and environment. It could also be related to leadership and experiences. Have you become good enough in an area and are not surrounded with room to grow or develop further? Or is the talent pool around you less than or equal to your capabilities? I was disciplined and focused on this goal for just over a year in bodybuilding and felt confident and comfortable. Was I becoming a big fish in a small pond?

The monotony of monotony

Dang, I'm boring.

Alright, maybe I'm not that boring.

Humans are boring.

Humans are creatures of habit.

And this habit creates monotony.

It has been interesting to relate habits and personal development to eating and bodybuilding. I have had many friends not as knowledgeable about the fitness/health industry ask for dieting advice. I have read nine books to date out of my goal for 30 by December 31. I can safely say that at least 6/8 of them mention habits. This could be anything from the creation of habits, to bad habits to understanding habits and our development. After reading the book "Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength", and "The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business", I feel more confident in giving advice on how to develop workout, eating and healthy lifestyle habits.

Some might not realize that our brains and thoughts are within our control. As one of my favorite leadership gurus and sales leaders once said:

Photo found on: this website

"You are what you are and you are where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You change what you are and you change where you are by changing what goes into your mind.” - Zig Ziglar



I think this goes along with our bodies. Our mind controls our bodies. If we control what goes into our minds, we control our health.

This is great! Form a habit, stick to that habit and it all becomes easy, right?

3 steps to building credibility

Do you have street cred?

Nah, me neither. At least, not yet.

For 18 years, I played an integral role on my family farm. I knew the ins and outs of our feed ration for the beef cattle. I knew the fields dad planted to corn, soybeans, wheat, oats and hay. I had a decent knowledge of our machinery, which ones had some "technical difficulties" and how to handle them with care. I was the advocate for our business and industry.

Then, things changed. I left for college and became disconnected. It got even more difficult to stay in "the know" while trying to do well in college courses, increase involvement in student organizations and build a "credibility" for myself on campus.

Trust and a coach

Have you ever had a coach where you doubt them? I know I have.

I think back to my high school track days. Freshman girls track, Mr. Hemsoth was a tough coach. Often times, the girls would do their best to avoid running extra drills or find a way to make whatever instructions he asked us to do "easier". He demanded a lot of his team and pushed us to run more than you thought possible. He "encouraged" me to run the 800 meter open and 800 meter relay. I was not pleased. His stern demeanor gave him this persona of an all or nothing we gotta win type. (He was not much different as the social studies teacher either.)

Mr. Hemsoth made me doubt his coaching abilities and whether he had my best interests at heart. I have never been the best runner. However, putting me into mid-distance races pushed me to a limit. I ended up quitting after that season for various reasons including an injury. I attribute a larger portion of not returning that next season because of my doubt of him as a coach.

This past week, I had a meeting with the Nebraska Farm Bureau Leadership Academy. This meeting, we focused mostly on agricultural policy and industry current events. The second day, we worked with Richard Fagerlin, author of Trustology.

I first saw Richard speak at the AFA Alliance Meeting last November. However, that was more of a keynote speech. This time, he got to work more closely with our group of 10 upcoming leaders in Farm Bureau. It refreshed me of the importance of trust.

3 nuances in change and consistency

This past week was #FFAWeek. The National FFA Organization serves as the largest youth organization in the country focused on agricultural education and leadership development. I can attribute much of my skills and development to the FFA.

As I reflected through some photographs found (in the dusty cobwebs of my hard drive), it brought back some found memories. It is remarkable how quickly time can pass and feel like yesterday in the same sense. I have changed a lot. However, I have also stayed the same in some ways.

It is weird to me. There are many leadership books, podcasts, theories stating how change is the number one factor to development. However, consistency also plays a role in progress. How do these two elements work together for us as people and leaders?

I think there are only nuances in change and consistency.

Three steps left going into 11

January 2016 has come and gone. Did anyone else think that went by very quickly? Time is a matter of perception but to me, the month flew by! There are only 11 months left.

When I set my goals for 2016, most were pretty lofty. Today, I took some time to review them and see what kind of progress I have made and what behaviors lead to that success. I also identified what behaviors were counterproductive or slowed my progression. Rather than detail exactly where I stand with each of my goals, I want to help you see what process you can do for your goals.
Here are three key steps I have for making the most of the remaining 11 months in 2016.

Three steps to identify successful behaviors

I am loving my Passion Planner for this year. It really forces me to do more than the usual "I'll just think about my goals" and writing them down. As I flipped through the past few weeks, there was one thing I noticed. When I succeed at a task or priority, I placed a checkmark next to it. There were quite a few left without checkmarks. This drives me crazy. However, this is the first step to identifying successful behaviors.

Why you should not call it a year-end review

It was my first year-end review. I was not sure what to expect. I took some time the day and morning before to compile my year accomplishments and highlights, biggest challenges and weaknesses and areas of improvement for 2016. The plan was to meet my boss at Texas T-Bone for dinner and discuss these objectives. A couple of steaks and brief discussion would not take very long, right?

About three and a half hours later, lots of comments and feedback had been shared. My mind was running at 100 miles per hour (just a little faster than the typical 75 mph). I felt overwhelmed, excited, uncertain, frustrated and encouraged throughout the conversation. I was choking among my own flood of emotions.

It did not get easier from there.

My line manager is challenging.
I shall refer to him as "Mr. Manager" throughout this post, as his name is irrelevant. His actions are not. 

He asks the tough questions and expects answers. He seeks collaboration and ownership on projects. Above all, he wants me, as a direct report, to be successful and happy. He knows what drives me. Mr. Manager is a very talented at reading people, understanding them and using that knowledge to hold fruitful conversations. When I first started on his team, I was not sure how it would go. We are both very goal driven and results-oriented. But, besides that, our personalities differ. He is more blunt, outgoing and downright ornery. However, these characteristics combined make an insightful, charismatic leader.

Mr. Manager is one that does not necessarily follow a script. He develops something unique for each employee. He has demonstrated this through actions this first year. He also discussed it as we began our discussion of our year-end review.

"Most Changed" into 2016 & 4 Steps to a New Years' Resolution

The new year is upon us. Is it really 2016? Things can certainly change quickly and time flies! Most of us are in the midst of starting our New Years' Resolutions! Many of you may have already organized, categorized and wrote down your resolutions. Others might be doing the usual procrastination and will not formally write any, but keep some ideas tucked away in the cranny of their minds. However, we all must start with a little reflection.

When I reviewed my past year, I noticed a lot of change. New job, new customers, new challenges, new opportunities, new friends, and a new outlook on life. I am learning to be a better me. I want to grow and become the woman God has given me the potential to become. I think back to my senior year of high school. My 2010 senior class at Otsego High School always voted superlatives by class.

I was selected as most changed in 2010.

Eager Reader for 2016

I love reading. There is something about curling up on the sofa, opening published works and losing myself in a good book. I look at computer screens, phone screens and virtual text a majority of the day. You may have the same reality as me. 

In today's digital space, it is normal to look at screens all day. I think it is too normal. Our fast-paced society makes us hungry for quick, concise information. This isn't all bad. It increases our productivity, efficiency and ability to learn quickly. However, many don't know the simple joy of learning from others by reading.

In 2015, I have started reading more. It keeps me learning new things, learning from other people and sharing what I learn each day. You know who reads most? People who want to continue growing and learning. To give you a scoop on the books I read (or at least remember reading) in 2015.

Holiday reminder, thank the Ziglar!

Today's fast-paced society makes it ever challenging to make time to read. I've mentioned briefly in a few blogs that I am now an avid fan of podcasts. Today, as I was doing the dishes, listening to a podcast on the "The Ziglar Show | Motivation and Inspiration to fuel your life and success", I stopped for a moment. Here is the link for iTunes users. This podcast was released Dec. 9, 2015.

Show host Kevin Miller began a one-minute clip with a message from Zig Ziglar. If you do not know who he is, Google the man or follow the hyperlink. He may be one of the greatest sales people and inspirational speaker to have shared his experiences!

Fear of No and Failure

Thing about when you see someone interesting or attractive. Do you approach him or her and introduce yourself? Say hello? Or are you like the majority of people who will talk yourself out of stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a chance? Instead, you scour the Internet and social media to try finding that intriguing person... when all you really had to do was say hello. 

Imagine your last job interview. You spent a half hour or more being interrogated, probed about your experiences. Then, it was your turn. Ask away! What did you ask? Did you ask what other qualities you need to demonstrate to prove you were right for the role? Essentially, did you ask for the job? Why or why not? What is the worst that could happen if you ask? 

In both situations, you could be told no.

Why are we fearful of the "what ifs" and "could happens"? Why does the big two-letter word push our interests aside and keep us from potential? 

The biggest weakness in personal development and sales is fear of "no" or fear of "failure". You could be one of two people who have to this point:

Option 1. 
"Oh, I see what Caroline is getting at! I'll continue reading."

Option 2. 
"Pff, I don't care about personal development and/or I'm not in sales. This does not apply to me [as you close this screen]."

Thankful 30 - Day 18, inspiring peers

Do you have someone at your workplace who you can talk with about goals, learn different perspectives, push you past your limits and is all around a fun, inspiring peer?

I'm thankful for one of my inspiring peers. Logan and I completed the developmental sales representative training program at Syngenta together. The first time I met him, I was intimidated. He played college football and is simply "a big dude". But, after talking with him in the first few meetings of our training, we became good friends and coworkers.

Thankful 30 - Day 7, leadership collaboration

Today was filled with deep thoughts. I am thankful for the chance to collaborate with recognized and developing leaders in agriculture. The best way to learn is from experience. There were many years of experience in the business sessions of the AFA Alliance Forum, as well as at the AFA Leader in Agriculture Award Dinner last night.

In reality, I'm still processing much of the insights shared today. One thing that comes to the front of my mind is this: live out your passions and values and never stop learning.

How do you continue collaborating with leaders to learn and develop your best self?

7-year trend comes to an end

The past seven years, I have spent the last week of October focused on the same thing. The National FFA Convention and Expo has had my undivided attention. This trend is coming to an end. Unfortunately, I will not make it to the convention this year. But, that is OK.

Sometimes, our responsibilities and priorities shift. The National FFA Organization is near and dear to my heart. It has shown dramatic impact on my personal development and aptitude for my career in agriculture. Whether it was getting my start in public speaking or learning about soil science, I learned much through my local, state and national participation. If there is one thing I learned and took for granted through FFA but now understand and implement today, it is that putting yourself in environments of change and discomfort yield the greatest results. I have said this a lot; change is tough. Let me reiterate:

Putting yourself in environments of change and discomfort yield the greatest results.

I shared in a past blog post about my various experiences at FFA Convention. Last year, I judged Supervised Agriculture Experience finalists and chapter awards, in addition to mingling with guests in the Syngenta booth in the Expo. Each of my convention years were different. This year, now that I will not be there, is the most different of all. Instead, I will be in Nebraska, working with my customers, closing out harvest 2015 and attending a district sales meeting.

Change is difficult, but change is good. I have now been a Seed Advisor Manager for 8 months and have learned a lot. It is crazy that we are already in the thick of selling corn and soybean seed for 2016 and my Seed Advisors are well on their way to reaching and exceeding goals. I have much more to do and learn before I will feel more comfortable in my job. Thankfully, the FFA paved my path towards being active in agriculture and better serving the farmers I work with.

Lucky for me, the trend of change continues. My time attending FFA Convention may be coming to a stall, but definitely not a close. Whenever my next appearance there is for, it will be a new experience. Who ever say they want to remain the same for the rest of their lives? If they did, they must already have reached their life's ambitions...

I am openminded. What big change or end of a trend is upon you? Are you ready? Can you be openminded and embrace it? Your choice. I know I do not settle for mediocrity.

Most rewarding and most challenging part about bodybuilding

When a person thinks about "bodybuilding", they immediately think of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Big, buff and bad ass. He is pretty rad. But when I started training for my bodybuilding competition, I wasn't totally certain what to expect. Everyone kept telling me that the training was the easy part. What? OK, I'm in! Well, they were right. There is something much more rewarding and challenging than the workouts.

To excel in any sport, there must be a combination of physical and mental strength. Physical comes from conditioning, practice and performing the techniques your sport or game requires. How do good basketball players become great? They start with fundamentals. If a ball player cannot dribble, how can they possibly get the ball down the court to score a basket?

In bodybuilding, physical strength is a foundation of weight lifting and cardio. Yes, that includes my dreaded cardio. To optimize body condition, bodybuilders find balance of targeting muscle groups and increasing volume and weights over a period of time. To continue tightening the muscle mass developed, incorporate plyometric movements and cardio.

I find this part fun! It is exciting keeping my body on it's "toes" and changing my workout routines and movements over the weeks and seeing my strength increase. The physical strength that I have developed comes with practice and precision in my workouts. However, it cannot be accomplished only through training. The body needs fuel.

To reveal the muscularity and toned physique, appropriate diet must be part of the equation. A meal plan is in place for consistency and prove that science can make regular people look like super heroes! It starts out exciting. But after 17 weeks, food options are restricted and boring. This is where it gets tough.

If there is one thing I have learned about myself through this process, it is that the key to having successful training as a bodybuilder is self discipline.

This mental preparation is also the most challenging and rewarding part of the process. Nowadays, may people (including myself) are coached online. I do not have a personal trainer at the gym I use. I do not have a roommate to hold me accountable. It is all in my head.

This is all on me.

It is definitely mind over matter in the process of setting a goal, changing habits and fulfilling it. You know what? Many people have told me "they could never do what I'm doing". With that thought in your head, you are probably right.

You can't and you won't. 

If you want something bad enough, do you have the self discipline to work your butt off and make it happen?

Hop to it.
Prove it.

Until then, I'll just keep making gains and ignoring the mental "pains". Those little Devil's inside my head saying cookies are good for me are lying...

until after my show on August 15th. :) Wish me luck!

Less than 2 weeks left
until I compete.

A shift from encouragement to genuine support

Sometimes, I doubt myself. I doubt myself quite often, really. The past 10 weeks have pushed me beyond what I thought was possible or probable. However, it has also opened my eyes to a bigger question I asked myself, "Why do we get discouraged, unmotivated and filled with self-doubt?"

The Struggle Stage

After a few reflections of all areas of my life, there are some patterns to personal development that can impact us. One of these areas is within learning tasks and performing. Specifically, the Ken Blanchard Situational Leadership II taught me that there are four levels of learning and performing tasks. Right now, in my job and bodybuilding, I am stuck in the second phase: D2.

To give you a quick intro to what this means, I have passed the first stage as an excited beginner, "honeymooner" at D1. I am stuck at D2, where you start to know what you are doing but get frustrated with processes and the unknown, and in turn, have decreased motivation. This is the stage right before D3, where you start really performing and become a high achiever in that task or goal. You guessed it. D2 = struggle stage and lots of self doubt.

A few thoughts I have experienced recently (for bodybuilding primarily, but also for some work experiences):

I have a confession: I cheated.

The first step towards recovery is acknowledging your failure or weakness. I have a confession: I cheated. 

The worst thing about cheating is whenever someone cheats, he or she may not acknowledge the probable cause or the "why" of the situation. Well, I am about to do just that.

I cheated on myself.

As you may know, I started a new role back in March with Syngenta as a Seed Advisor Manager (abbreviated SAM), and a few weeks later, I also started training for a bodybuilding competition. At the time, I figured I could easily handle to large life changes happening at the same time. I was wrong. It is challenging, mentally draining and above all, demotivating. I pushed myself too hard in both work and training and am now paying the consequences.

View of Weihl Farms in Perrysburg, Ohio from the pasture.

One week ago. Just a bum look.

Over Memorial Day weekend, I went home to Ohio to see family and friends. This was the first time going home since Christmas. Yes, I know. I am crazy. I should have gone back home before now. At the time, I didn't see the need. Now, I do. To have life balance, you cannot work all the time. It is not healthy. Some might argue "I enjoy my work and am passionate about it". So am I! But, you know what? I have other priorities and life passions that I need to prioritize sometimes. I had not been doing that. I have concluded this as the cause of my cheating.

I planned a meeting with my Seed Advisors the week after Memorial Day. The focus of the meeting was to share updates on planting progress, agronomic updates, discuss tactics on how to continue relationship building through summer and talk about programs and business settlement details that will play a great importance in the coming weeks. We held the meeting on Thursday and I collaborated with some other Syngenta employees to split the talking points. The meeting was fine and my Seed Advisors expressed they had some takeaways. However, I think it sucked. 

5 tips for being the coach and the athlete.

9 weeks. It has been 9 weeks since I began my new "coaching" role as a Seed Advisor Manager. 

Yes, I said coaching. I may be in the "sales" facet of the business. However, my job requires I do more than understand my products and hit our sales targets. I must understand the business of my eight seed advisors and help coach them to be as successful as possible.

For example, the image to the right is from a morning where I assisted a Seed Advisor plant a soybean plot in south central Nebraska. Having an awareness of how my customers are acquiring real-world data of our products gives me more exposure to strengths and weaknesses in my overall territory and individual seed advisors and their businesses. I can then coach them on where changes might be needed or where we are excelling.

You know what? I never envisioned being a coach. It just happened to fit the profile of what I do on a weekly basis with my customers. But that isn't the only thing I did not imagine.

I'm an outlier and I embrace it.

Have you ever felt like no one understand you? What about the fact that you think people understand you, and then a comment or situation with them proves the opposite? Do you think differently or act differently from peers?

Let me reassure you, you are not alone. I do. And I'm good with it.

Rocking rubber boots and ripped jean shorts in 2009.

Growing up was hard for me. I was always that quiet, skinny, weird girl who spent too much time working, doing well in school and getting overly involved in organizations and community activities. Being the oldest of my sister and me, I was also the "son" on the farm. This made me a bit more tomboyish and the uncanny ability to have more guy friends than girl friends. I grew out of the "shy" part a little. As for the skinny and weird, I'm still working on those. Nonetheless, in all points of my life, there is always a moment of being "the odd one out". It may have been an instance as little as my favorite farm animal being the alpaca or as large as spending five consecutive hours doing homework and student organization projects on a Saturday night. Somehow, this feeling of being different has not changed since moving from high school and college to the working world.

I received recognition at our annual college banquet for being a top
student employee in my job two years while at Ohio State. #workaholic

Now, it is a larger scale of different. I am a female in the agriculture industry. More specifically, I am a young female in the seed industry. Even as more women work in different job sectors, it is mind boggling the amount of confused looks and skeptical remarks I get when I talk to people in the grocery store and strangers in the community. Sometimes, people are genuinely supportive with responses like, "Good for you! I'm sure you'll do great." Other times, it may go more like, "Oh, that's interesting. Guess you are in the right place for that."

Lost luggage and long meetings

It got lost... again. After all the airfare I have paid these past 12 months and frankly, past 9 years or so I have been flying, you would think I would know better. I consider myself an experienced flier (no, I am not yet TSA Pre-Check certified but I'm sure later on in life, I'll make the investment). Sunday was not a good example of my flying prowess. I checked my bag when I should not have and it got left behind.

I had been waiting for my boarding group in Detroit Metropolitan Airport. The guest services worker asked if anyone was willing to "complementary check" their bag. Since I was not in a hurry with a layover in Dallas and not arriving to Grand Island, Neb. until about 10 p.m., I figured why not. They were covering the costs and it was one less bag to lug around in addition to my exceedingly full backpack, securing two laptop computers, an iPad and camera case with my body and two lenses. The least I could do was provide more overhead bin space for other travelers and continue my voyage back to Nebraska after a nice holiday hiatus. As I handed the clerk my ticket and made my way down the jet bridge, it didn't occur to me that my bag would not get moved from its location.