Fear of No and Failure

Thing about when you see someone interesting or attractive. Do you approach him or her and introduce yourself? Say hello? Or are you like the majority of people who will talk yourself out of stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a chance? Instead, you scour the Internet and social media to try finding that intriguing person... when all you really had to do was say hello. 

Imagine your last job interview. You spent a half hour or more being interrogated, probed about your experiences. Then, it was your turn. Ask away! What did you ask? Did you ask what other qualities you need to demonstrate to prove you were right for the role? Essentially, did you ask for the job? Why or why not? What is the worst that could happen if you ask? 

In both situations, you could be told no.

Why are we fearful of the "what ifs" and "could happens"? Why does the big two-letter word push our interests aside and keep us from potential? 

The biggest weakness in personal development and sales is fear of "no" or fear of "failure". You could be one of two people who have to this point:

Option 1. 
"Oh, I see what Caroline is getting at! I'll continue reading."

Option 2. 
"Pff, I don't care about personal development and/or I'm not in sales. This does not apply to me [as you close this screen]."

If you think you are option 2, please read the first and second paragraphs again. We are all in business of selling. We all want to improve, too. Therefore, we all should fall under the first person option. Allow me to continue.

For as long as I can remember, when someone would ask the question, "Caroline, what is your biggest fear?" I would respond, "the fear of failure". In reality, I am not fearful of anything like spiders, heights, etc. So I thought I was being more mature and realistic with my response.
Today, I realize I was ignorant.

All successful people have failed. Usually they fail more than once. However, they kept going. Remember Thomas Edison? It took him over 10,000 ideas and attempts to invent the light bulb. Think that was discouraging for him? Hell yeah! But he kept going. Thank goodness or I would be typing this blog post in the dark. 

Henry Ford was another not afraid to fail:

How come we do not treat all of our failures and no's the same? Do you play any games on your phone or computer? What do you do when you lose the first time you play? Give up? Or do you try again? How about going on dates? Sure, one guy or gal did not work out. But do you quit dating forever? Doubtful... but I guess I'm not one to talk since I have not been on a "date" in just shy of one year... 

Nonetheless, the fear of no and failure holds us back. It prevents us from reaching and exceeding our potential. We need to stop doing that to ourselves. I need to stop doing it to myself as well. Everything does not and will not be perfect every time around. Now, I need to practice what I preach and accept that. You can too.

Habits take time to change. Start small and you can get there. For me, it's time to get rid of this "fear of failure" bologna! Time to think of it as "fear of missed opportunities". 

Are you ready to accept "no" and "failure"? Take a moment and write down one thing you are afraid of doing wrong. This week, remind yourself that no matter what, you are learning and are not failing. Any "no" you might hear could very well be a "yes".
Change your mindset, change your life.